Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
