Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize