Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
North Korea, Best Korea!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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