my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Vodka?
Forever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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