I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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