So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
