I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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