you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
