I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
