Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
