I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
