Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
