You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize