You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
