question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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