You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
