Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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