he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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