Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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