what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
