And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
