i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
