I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
A+ Viking dick
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
