Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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