your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize