Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
