well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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