I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
