When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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