Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
