put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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