just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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