why didn't you poke me back
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
thus making me awesome and them whores
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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