The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
