A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
