Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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