I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
whose ass print is on the piano?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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