Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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