just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
