yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
