just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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