If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize