So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
