he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
