He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
