Someone shit on the floor
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
