Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
