i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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