I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
