I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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