So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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