So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
