Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
