and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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