Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
