the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
