I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
