Dual....:-)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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