everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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