Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
