no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Please don't give away my fajitas
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
