You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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