ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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