The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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