Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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