do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
